Tempus Fugit: The Paragon of Animals
by crazy-ranger
Summary: Finally... chapters 23 up
1. Default Chapter

Just the teaser for now… as I have to work tomorrow- I'm not staying up. Sweet dreams kids,

Ranger,

* * *

Babylon 5 copyright to Warner brothers, (Have you heard about memory of shadows and replacing the actors? Go to sppicturesdotcom in the news section (keep scrolling it is there)... tell warner what you think of them) 

Joe wrote the original... Don't sue my ass Joe. I can barely afford to pay rent with my student loan. I'm just having a bit of fun.... if thats what you can call it.

* * *

"If I were dying, would you hold me in your arms, or would you just let me lay there and bleed.?"—Hawkeye Pierce

* * *

The former league of non-aligned worlds, namely the races that made up the newly formed Interstellar Alliance were more than displeased with committal. Now they had all agreed to be part of this alliance, they had all refused to sign into it. Not even earth had responded yet, which didn't help President John Sheridans case. 

"Please, please everyone! Listen!" He yelled above the din, seeing that convincing these people never got any easier as time went on. "Everyone please! You have to understand the alliance is moving as quickly as it can."

John expected trouble from the Drazi, there was always trouble from the Drazi.

"You promised us technology advances when we joined you." The ambassador complained to anyone who would listen.

"They're coming." Delenn added quickly, trying to save her husband from ulcer in the near future. "As soon as all your governments sign the declaration of principles. You have agreed to abide by everything else, why can't you sign the declaration?" She continued, desperate for this pointless scrutinising of the alliance to stop.

"You cannot legislate morality Delenn." The ambassador continued, knowing that she could not reply in the positive to that.

"No." G'kar said coming to her rescue. "But we can encourage others to act with charity towards one another. This alliance is about more than hard wear!" He insisted, rather annoyed at the pettiness of his peers.

"I would like to remind the Drazi ambassador that the Centari republic has already signed the declaration." Londo stated, trying to throw his influence into the discussion.

"And if the Centari can sign it, anybody can sign it." Came G'kars' helpful reply.

"That's right! I-" Londo began before he realised quite what he was saying. "Wait a minute!"

"Then why has the earth alliance not signed it?" The Drazi ambassador enquired, bringing Captain Ivanova into the discussion.

"They will." Sheridan replied before she could, almost out of pure habit.

"I spoke to the president earlier, she's reviewing the declaration with her cabinet." Ivanova made clear to the various races.

The Drazi turned from Ivanova to Sheridan and asked a little incredulously: "You ask us to sign when your own home world will not?"

"They will!" She insisted, wishing that she hadn't been brought into the discussion when she had next to nothing to offer on Sheridans behalf.

"How do we know that you're home world listens to you?" The Drazi said turning back to Ivanova. "I think that they still treat you like rebels."

"That's not true." She stated, trying to keep her temper down and this meeting as civil as possible. "All military staff on Babylon 5 have been given amnesty for their actions in the war against President Clarke."

At this point the Drazi turned around to the other members of the alliance, in a rather theatrical manor. Susan felt she shouldn't of mentioned the war before he even spoke.

"The earthers will not sign and they go to war with their own race!"

The former league roared. The Drazi ambassador had got them unified, and on the opposite side to progress. This was not going well in the slightest, Susan felt.

"The Drazi have always respected the rights of our neighbouring worlds and of our own people. We have never enslaved another race, or exploited another race. We do not need others to teach us morality."

At that moment, both John and Susan saw Garibaldi at the door of the council chambers. He didn't enter, seeing the trouble that was being caused by the lack of co-operation between alliance members.

"The Drazi refuse to sign!" The ambassador announced, fortunately not seeing Garibaldi signalling shooting in the head to Sheridan, "because we do not need to sign." The irate ambassador continued before rallying to the wrong side, the other worlds, "Who stands with us?"

With a roar of approval, the alliance world delegates stood and walked out on the meeting leaving Sheridan calling after them.

As they dissipated, Sheridan turned on his heel and walked in Ivanovas' direction as she stood.

"Susan…" He began, not continuing and tiring her ears with what he had to say.

"I'm on it." She said through clenched teeth as she stood, not liking the fact that the Drazi ambassador didn't seem to take her seriously as a diplomat from earth. This was the last thing she needed. As she moved beyond the table she added under her breath, "And a hundred other things I'd rather not do."

As she passed Garibaldi she mumbled words to the effect that she didn't run the damn planet it wasn't her fault.

G'kar, turned to them all after she had left.

"That could of gone better."

* * *

After an hour or so Susan gave up on being polite to the Earthdome officials and demanded to speak to the president herself. After a further hour of waiting and arguing with a senator she was pretty sure left over from the Clarke era, she had finally got through to President Luchenko. 

Only Luchenko felt that the best way to deal with the declaration was to analyse every word for anything that could be used to harm Earth in anyway.

"Captain, I sympathise with the situation, but I feel we should review the declaration further before giving you authority to sign." She re-iterated for what seemed like the twentieth time.

"Madam president," Susan addressed her, knowing that blowing her top in front of the commander in chief would be very bad for her career, "with all due respect, Sheridans getting knocked on his ass out here. He needs the help of Earth if this alliance is going to last. He needs us to sign, soon."

The president paused and leaned back in her chair, she seemed to be genuinely mulling over her options. For a politician this could be interpreted as a great step forward, Susan had to give her some small credit for that.

"Alright," Luchenko finally sighed. "I'll do what I can to speed things up. But the last thing we want is to be screwed out of our own resources or not governing our own territories." Ivanova, nodded, glad to see some hope of a response from Earth in the near future. "I'll get back to you soon Ivanova."

"Thank you ma'am. That would help." Susan managed to say without sounding at all contemptuous. She thought she were quite diplomatic and polite, considering she was on the verge of tearing her own hair out.

"Earth dome out." The president added before blinking out of vision.

Susan turned away from the screen and lifted her coffee to her mouth. Why the hell was everyone in the universe so suspicious of everyone else?

"Technology and rangers," She mumbled, wondering if offering the member worlds fruit baskets would have got better reactions. "...naturally that offer means they want to invade us."

* * *

More soon…as soon as I get a better idea of what to do with Act 1 (And yes… I do promise Marcus in this one! Lots of him! two acts virtually written) 

Crazy Ranger:


	2. Act 1

Dear all,

Very sorry about lack of writings over the last few months. I almost gave up. Then my inner Marcus became very animated… and those of you who also have an inner Marcus must know that he DOESN'T SHUT UP! So here you are. I return. The next chapter should be ready as soon as I proof read.

Ranger

* * *

"And?" John asked as Susan entered the council room, running a few minutes behind everyone else. 

"I finally got through to the president," She began, noting G'kar was still hammering out the final draft of the declaration of principles. She prayed that President Luchenko wouldn't be insistent on reading through another draft. "She said she'll speed things up."

John shook his head, unable to contain his frustration. Susan shared a look with Delenn, who half smiled apologetically for her husbands' impatientness.

"It's not good enough," He commented, his mood worsening with the minute.

"It's all I can do!" Susan protested. "I waited to talk to her for an hour and even then she wanted to cut me short." Resigned, she sunk into her usual chair on the council. "Anybody else feel like they're sitting in a tree and somebody's throwing rocks at them?"

Delenn backtracked to the topic of conversation before Susan had entered the room- "We may be able to get the Pak'Ma'Ra on board to help but they are going to need something in exchange."

"Oh, offer them my body," Londo helpfully suggested. "Another ten minutes of this and I'll be dead anyway."

""I second the motion," G'kar added not looking up from his papers.

"Third- and I'll come with you." Ivanova added- feeling like she needed a vacation from this year already.

She watched as G'kar paused, as if a mist had come over him and he started scribbling furiously on the paper.

"Another idea." Delenn explained as G'kar seemed to become completely oblivious to what was going on.

"Alright," John continued, happy to let G'kar continue with half an ear on the situation. "I believe Michael has a suggestion he'd like to put before us."

Michael sat up, aware that all eyes but G'kars were on him. He was pretty sure of his idea- it seemed pretty sound to him.

"Okay. A few weeks ago- You allowed a group of telepaths to set up home in brown sector after they helped save your life Mr President. They said at the time that they were willing to earn their keep rather than-" Michael stopped himself before he said something extremely politically incorrect. Here was not the place.

"And-" Sheridan urged him on, rather than pondering on where he was going with the final remark.

"Weeeell," Michael stated, rolling the first word around his tongue. "I was filtering through some reports from the rangers and it occurred to me that- well, despite how through and detailed they are- they never have all the information possible."

Susan had a hunch on where this was going- and she didn't like it. It seemed like a bad idea from the get go. From her experience of Byron and his people they'd tell Garibaldi to take a flying leap.

"I think I know where this is going," John commented as soon as he was sure of where Garibaldi was going.

"I want your permission to use some of these telepaths to gather intelligence on our behalf."

"Michael, I don't have to tell you that's illegal." John chided, knowing that his presidency being linked to illegality was a little more than undermining.

"Only if you're in the Psi-Corp, which they certainly aren't, and neither are we. Hell, it's not like all telepaths are." Michael argued his point, having anticipated this response from Sheridan. "The Centari have been using military teeps for… well since the great old days."

"Thank you." Londo smiled; glad to see the glory of the Centari republic was recognised by more than himself.

"You're welcome. Anyway, the point is- if others are doing, and we're outside of earth jurisdiction then why put ourselves at a disadvantage? Look, I'm not big on teeps, and I'm not big on guns either. But if everyone else has one then I want to be sure I've got the biggest one I can get my hands on. Look, we've helped these people- they owe us and said they'd pay us back."

"They won't agree." Susan mumbled, more to herself than the group, also focused on Michaels comment on guns. She was pretty sure Michael did like his guns, but it was a minor point to quibble.

"What?" Garibaldi asked, genuinely not hearing what she had said.

"The telepaths." Ivanova continued, now realising she had to be careful what she said. "They've been hounded by the Corps their whole lives. All they want to do is have a quiet existence. They won't like being recruited- they don't trust normals."

"What makes you think that?" Sheridan added, wondering how Susan had suddenly become so knowledgeable on such things.

"Just a guess." She said quickly, knowing how suspect that sounded as soon as the words left her mouth.

Sighing, having a dilemma in knowing both Michael and Susan were right Sheridan thought for a moment. "Michael, we know there is a crisis coming between telepaths and normals. I let them on board figuring that we could keep them in our back pocket until they were needed."

"And all I'm saying is let's move them to the front pocket. Why not use what we've got until waiting until the last moment. They said they wanted to work- what better job could they do? Maybe they'll say no- all I want to do is have the conversation with their leader."

"Byron." Susan added almost thoughtlessly. John could see she was a million miles away.

"Yeah. If he's game- great." Michael continued, not seeing Susans' lack of concentration on the subject. "If he's not- oh well. Nothing wrong with asking, is there?"

* * *

Susan looked up to see Byron standing over her. She eyed him suspiciously, not that there was much point in creating this pretence- it wasn't as if she could hide anything from him. 

"Captain," he greeted her formally seemingly for the ears of everyone else on the Zocalo, very formally considering the events of their last meeting. His mind seemed to turn back to the events and a smile came to his lips and he spoke with lower volume to his voice. "Susan."

"Byron." She nodded her head as he sat down uninvited. He hadn't approached her; he wasn't sure how appropriate it was for him to be seen with her- especially in private. Bothering her in public simply made him look like a pestilence upon her.

He leaned back in the chair, aware that he was probably being watched by more than one member of security. "I haven't seen you since-" He considered for a moment, "… well. Since." He concluded with.

"I've been busy." Susan remarked, not making eye contact and continually starring down at the status reports on the table.

"What's wrong" She heard his voice inside her head, tender, concerned.

I'm sorry- what happened- it was a mistake. She replied without opening her mouth, although her eyes met his.

He reached across and picked up the pitcher of water on the table, pouring himself a glass. "Is that why you left?" He whispered.

"No." She shook her head in half truth, "I had to get back."

Byron sighed and leaned back in his chair, she heard his voice in her head again as he sipped his water. You've had second thoughts about what happened. I'm sorry. I feel like I've taken advantage.

"No, not at all." She said out loud, suddenly aware she was reply to a comment that made her seem as if she were talking to herself. It's not possible Byron. It would never work.

He sighed again and nodded his head. She was right of course; he'd have been insane to have thought otherwise.

After a moment of silence that appeared to close the subject, Byron began to talk again. "Are you aware that Mr Garibaldi came to see us?"

"Yes. I told him it wasn't such a great idea."

He smiled, actually amused that his intuition about Garibaldi had been so correct. "I assumed as much." He saw the apologetic look on her face, knowing that she could not have stopped him without drawing attention to the subject of her and the other telepaths. "Don't worry, what little harassment we received seems insignificant to what we have already lived through."

* * *

Everything sucked as far as Marcus was concerned. Life was a bitch. He refused to lay the long line of reasoning around his head that had lead him to his conclusion- it was all rather messy and specific- but in general the universe did not like him. 

Standing up top of the Zocalo he looked down on the world of Babylon 5. Petty shop lifters, shopkeepers peddling cheap and nasty jewellery, clothes and knickknacks. People coming, people going, the occasional drunk, a couple of security. Even the monks were out today.

Some life being a monk, Marcus thought to himself. What a lousy existence. No sex life, No clothing choice, no possessions… It was only then he realised he was so unbelievably close to describing his own life. Dear God that was depressing. But the being a monk meant you had god, something to fall back on should your life turn to shit. In his own life Marcus had- well- bugger all really. He supposed that was the major draw back of being an atheist- he believed in nothing, had no faith in anything and had the reality that he would probably die a terrible painful death with no afterlife to continue into.

Bloody hell- how depressing.

Marcus had started the day by rising at one O'clock in the afternoon through no intension of his own. He'd then made breakfast, poked it with a spoon for the next forty-five minute before taking a few bites and throwing it away. It wasn't enough to sustain him through the day, but it was about all he could force down. Solid food was a problem. Actually, just food for the most part was an issue- even soup made him gag. But right then his attention wavered to the conversation that was happening over his shoulder, his ears pricked up as he heard Zack Allen walk past, discussing top secret information as always at audible volume with another member of the security forces.

"Sheridan wants to show these raiders that they aint getting away with it. I mean, who else has got the balls to go and do that?"

Marcus hesitated for a moment. He was aware that a white star had arrived back in less than complete form with only living crew member on board. It didn't take a teep to realise that the white stars were being mobilised. Turning away from the scene, he went to find Delenn.

* * *

He found the ambassador in the garden, walking among trees. For once the computer was accurate. She turned and smiled when she saw him, though she thought to herself that it may come to this. 

"Delenn," He greeted her respectfully, despite his eagerness.

"Hello Marcus." She replied, having an unpleasant feeling toward the subject of this conversation.

"I heard you're mobilising the White Stars." He commented, deciding to verify his information before making any kind of rash request.

"To protect a small world on the edge of Drazi space. All but twelve and Seventeen are gone, and they will be as soon as they've refuelled." She informed, knowing that the information passed to Marcus may have been more than second hand, as he was certainly not briefed officially on the situation.

"Let me go with them." He asked, letting his intensions out in the open.

"Marcus-" She began her denial of his request, she didn't have to be a Doctor to know that his state of health was no-where near acceptable. She had already considered sending Marcus back to Minbar to see if the healers there had any ideas on how to treat him, but she guessed that his leaving the station might be more damaging to his health than rewarding at present.

"It could be dangerous-" He began, trying desperately to convince Delenn that he was still an asset. That he wasn't finished yet, "Suppose they need a fleet commander on hand?"

Delenn shook her head, trying to seem sympathetic with being patronising. "I'm afraid they'll have to do without one. You're not well enough, maybe in a few months if-"

Marcus cut her off mid sentence, not particularly meaning to be rude, but he'd already lived through "a few months." If he didn't get back to work soon, he doubted he ever would. "A few months! Delenn I've been cooped up since December- I'm going to start eating the flowers off the wallpaper soon."

As amused as she was by that idea, Delenn didn't laugh. She touched Marcus on the arm, wishing that if she told Marcus how dear he was to her, he wouldn't take it as her simply softening the blow of letting him down. "I'm sorry, but I can't risk sending you, not in your current condition."

She shuffled awkwardly, trying to leave as she saw his face fall. She didn't want to discuss it further; it would only bring more pain about for Marcus. "We'll talk later, I promise."

* * *

Almost lost in the world, Marcus staggered back to the Zocalo. He stood where he had less than half and hour ago, wondering if he ever had any hope that Delenn would have granted his request. She was right of course, but that made it much worse rather than better. Was he completely useless? As far as he was concerned yes. It was a bad moment for him to see Susan with Byron sitting below, rising to their feet.

* * *

Stay tuned- 


	3. Act 2

Here you go- this is one of the first key scenes I had when I started this alternate universe, so it's a favourite.

Ranger,

* * *

The first she knew about it was Marcus addressing Byron in less than friendly tones. "What's this? You starting some kind of fan club?" He snarled.

Ivanova had never heard Marcus so defensive, so white hot with rage. She was completely taken aback.

"I'm leaving now," Byron said, starring Marcus down calmly, "I have no desire to cause trouble." With a brief nod in Ivanovas' direction, Byron departed, knowing that drawing attention to himself was not a good idea.

"What the hell was that all about?" Susan asked before Byron was even out of earshot. Not that Marcus cared.

"I was about to ask you." He retorted, his voice not coming through as calm, cold and threatening. But almost on the point of anger simmering over the top and scalding them both.

"What is wrong with you?" She asked, feeling the volume of her voice rising whether she intended it to or not. It was bad enough when Michael or John interfered with her life, but she drew the line at Marcus. But more than that, she worried about what he'd seen? Would he manage to put all the evidence together? She wasn't comfortable with anyone knowing about her now not so latent telepathy, let alone one of her close friends. But she hadn't intended for anyone to find out about Byron- especially Marcus. She'd seen the Ranger enraged, she hated to think how dangerous he could be when jealous. But it was too late to stop- one of the darker aspects of humanity had already laid itself into the conversation.

"I suppose you've never heard of a cult of personality." Marcus commented as Susan picked her way across the Zocalo with Marcus hot on her heels. She stopped and turned to him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Marcus heard the annoyance in her voice, that she didn't seem to be able to recognise friend from possible foe at the moment and that her fallibility made her vulnerable. What the hell was she doing befriending a group of rogue telepaths? In her position it seemed pretty damn dangerous.

"I mean those telepaths follow him around like a roaming deity, and getting the captain to see things their way wouldn't do them any harm." He spoke his mind, aware that the thought had probably not even crossed her mind. What the hell was she doing meeting with their leader?

"What are you implying?" Her voice gaining an edge so sharp it might slit an interfering rangers' throat.

"That you need to be more careful." He simply added, as they finally made it out of the Zocalo and into the corridor.

Susan pressed the call button for the transport tube and turned to him again. "Why the hell are you watching out for me anyway?"

"Someone has to, and you're obviously not!" Came the retort, he was jealous. He knew he was jealous. He'd just never admit that he could be anything but objective. "That guy came out of no-where a few weeks ago and you're-"

"Having coffee with him." She cut him off as she stepped into the empty transport tube and requested the correct level.

"You were holding his hand!" Marcus accused following her. Susan noted to herself to get a tick sheet for the amount of qualities she'd found annoying in Marcus in the last two minutes. Nosey, Self-righteous, jealous, petty…

"That is NONE of your business." She snapped. Marcus knew he must have hit upon a sensitive point here. Something was going on. His stomach twisted, but his mouth kept going.

"Oh, I suppose he knows you better than I do then?"

"Maybe better." Susan murmured as the tube doors opened and she stepped out.

Marcus paused for a moment, absorbing what she had just said before following her. He caught up with her, grabbed her by the arm and pulled her around to face him.

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?" He yelled, finding himself unable to contain his anger any longer.

She could have killed him for touching her. He had no right to be angry with her for socialising, and he certainly had no right to be grabbing hold of her.

"Whatever you want it to!" She remarked pushing him off her arm, thinking he should count himself lucky she hadn't broken it. "What are you? Ultra-paranoid? As I recall it's my life and I can do whatever with whomever."

She started to walk away again, in the direction of her quarters. Marcus followed again, not letting her escape from him of any of the overhanging issues the both of them had. Was she quite happy to ignore his feelings? Marcus supposed he'd have been stupid to think he'd be alright with that. That he'd be able to handle seeing her with other people. He'd already warned Lennier about similar dangerous promises.

"I've had enough of this." He commented, seeing the door to her quarters appear from around the corner.

"Good!" She just wanted rid of him. This conversation was pointless with Marcus in this completely irrational and state.

"We've been avoiding this, and I wanna get it out in the open."

She was spitting fury. He wanted to discuss what had happened, just because he felt like she should have some sort of loyalty to him. That he had saved her life and he could hold that over her whenever he found it necessary. That was unfair. She had never asked him for anything, he just came across as far too willing to give, and now that he wanted she was reluctant to give in return. He had backed her into the worst of corners. For the first time it occurred to her that if he was as selfless as he claimed he'd of left her alone.

"What?" She asked, knowing that she'd probably regret the next comment as soon as she had said it. "You gonna throw yourself off the upper level of the Zocalo to show how selfless you are?"

That hurt, he'd admit that. But he wasn't going to let her sideline him by getting him angry.

"If it'd make you happy!" Marcus replied without thinking about it too much. Susan opened the door and entered.

"Yes it damned well would." She replied, hoping that would get rid of him. Instead he entered her quarters after her.

"Get out!" She yelled, leaving the door open so he wouldn't have too much trouble finding it.

"No." he resolved, folding his arms, as if to plant himself firmly where he was.

He was so god-damned stubborn. Two people this strong willed could guarantee a major altercation coming.

"OUT!" She screamed, considering reaching for her PPG.

"Are you going to keep yelling at me with the door open?" He asked as calmly as he could manage in his present state. For no particular reason his heart was racing.

"Well we just walked through half the station- why not let the rest hear?" She added, seeing him reach towards the door to close it.

"Well bugger you then!" His voice began to rise in volume again as the door closed and he turned to her.

"Bugger you too- now get out!" Came the reply, trying to approach him more on his own level. "OUT!" She yelled again, not used to people defying her orders, even Marcus who'd usually respect her wishes.

"SCREW YOU!" he yelled, loosing sight of everything but the fact he was right.

"You…" She spat the words out, the volume and intensity of her voice rising as she continued, "are the most…annoying, nosey, self-righteous---" She searched for the right word, but failed to find one she deemed adequate. "…Virgin I have ever known!"

"GOOD! I'M GLAD WE AGREE ON SOMETHING!" As he shouted the last word it was as if something inside him gave way. He felt sweat on his back turn cold and his head become light and disorientated. His vision faded and guts twisted, then he fell forward and everything turned black.

It was like watching a bird fall out of the sky. One minute flying and hopping between air currents, the next hurtling downward. For a second, Susan stood too shocked to react. The moments seemed to go very slowly, as she saw his legs give way and he fell forward, hitting the floor but his head being saved by more or less landing on his arm. Then time seemed to return to what it had been before.

And as it finally occurred to her what had happened, her eyes widened. "Oh my god."

She knelt beside him, rolling him over to see if he were unconscious. He seemed to be out cold. Susan patted him on the face, praying for a response, calling out to him. "Marcus? Marcus?"

Nothing. She raised her link to her mouth and had her other hand ready to activate it and call med-lab when a clammy hand weakly grabbed her wrist.

"Don't…" he began, unable to finish on his first attempt. "Don't bring Stephen in to this."

His eyes slitted open, older than she knew them. Pain lurking within, just beyond the surface. But also pride.

"You just collapsed." She mumbled.

"If you do…" He began before inhaling sharply, "I can kiss the Rangers goodbye."

Why did he let this happen? He should have been more careful, he should have at least not aggravated his condition- but she'd assumed he was over this a month ago. If he was like this he should probably still be in med-lab. But as it was he was lying on the floor of her quarters gasping for breath and secrecy.

The anger of a few moments ago was converted to a different direction now. "Why the hell didn't you say anything?"

"For that reason." He mumbled before appealing to her directly. "Please, as a friend?"

Susan considered for a moment. If their positions were reversed (Not that it would ever happen), would Marcus turn her in? Let them take her commission? Her livelihood? Her life?

"Alright." She agreed, hearing him sigh slightly with relief. "C'mon, I'm not leaving you lying here." Susan reached across to his shoulder to try and raise him up, but he jerked with pain, causing her to fall back drastically.

"I think you're going to have to." Marcus uttered, before feeling his body subjugated with pain start to shake.

* * *

Every time she was convinced he'd fallen asleep he cried out again. She sat on the floor a few meters from him, watching, keeping her distance.

This was a bad idea. She should have called Stephen in. She should have let him handle this- but now she couldn't. Now she was reduced to a painful position of guardian, only able to watch while he endured, over and over. Breath after breath, compounding into groans, moans and finally cries.

He prayed he'd pass out. He couldn't focus to meditate his way out of this. He just wanted darkness to take him, but found himself held by the un-merciful grasp of light. He was drenched in his own sweat, but he was also shock ridden at how easily this had happened. He was weak, and he was purposeless to the alliance. Not pride, nor An'la'shok training could halt the flow of bitter tears that started silently falling. Ashamedly, Marcus covered his eyes, trying to hide the fact he was crying.

She'd seen the first tears fall from his eyes, but his hand covered the rest. Susan felt completely helpless. There was nothing she could do. She couldn't clap her hands and make it not so or give him anything to take the pain away. She bit her lip and swallowed hard. She wished a black hole would swallow her up and spare her this.

Then a moment later she heard him. She hadn't been intentionally scanning or anything; she just heard his voice clear in her mind.

**Nice one Marcus. You really fucked things up for yourself, and no amount of offhanded humours going to get you out of this. Why did I argue with her? What did I go and have to be such a nosey prick for? Because that's what she thinks you are- a Prick. A complete utter Moron.**

He groaned again, and his rambling mental monologue paused.

**Oh my God I want to die.**

She didn't want to hear any more. She glanced over at Marcus, who inhaled sharply and nothing more. She couldn't help him. What was she expected to do? There was nothing she could do for him.

And suddenly she thought of Byron. Of Byron holding her, she hadn't remembered. Byron had held her and kept her calm while she was drifting in and out. She barely knew Byron, and he had taken her in, protected her, literally and mentally held her.

Damn everything else, Marcus was her friend and she cared about him. She shouldn't have held back any kind of support in the first place. He'd needed her and she'd sat on the other side of the room, cold, unfeeling. It didn't matter that Marcus was in love with her, what mattered was she should be reaching out and hadn't been.

Susan knelt beside Marcus, who didn't acknowledge that the light his eyelids were hiding from was being partially eclipsed. She placed her hand on his wrist and he shuddered ever so slightly.

"Marcus?" She called to him, seeing the damage up close. He made no real response to her.

Susan slid her hand up his arm and squeezed his shoulder. She called to him again, lightly, with sympathy.

He swallowed hard, still weeping silently. "I'm sorry." He croaked, able to say little else. He wasn't too sure what for specifically.

"It doesn't matter." She whispered, knowing that with recent events she had one thing to prove to herself. That she was still human. Susan laid her hand on the back of the palm he had covered his face with. She clasped her hand around his, cold, clammy, feverish. He tried to resist as she pulled his hand away from his face, unmasking where tears had fallen. But in his weakened state it was useless to try and stop her.

Marcus lay, completely dead to himself. He couldn't bring himself to move at all. He was numb with the odd pallet of emotions mixed together. He did feel however, a hand slide behind his head, then an arm under his shoulders. With great discomfort he was sat up, then with the most gentleness that human error can offer, he was lent back downward slightly, but this time his head came to rest on Susan's shoulder, while she clasped him loosely around the chest and waist. She could feel the pain as it spasmed through him and he jerked slightly.

The torture from within his own body was inescapable, Susan likened it to watching a man being beaten and only able to stand and do nothing. But every blow he took was for her, and what he endured, she would hold him for. And when the sharp breaths became all out cries again Susan tried to help with a gentle "Shhh," in the ear. After hours had passed into the long abyss of gone, his head finally dropped and resigned itself to an exhausted but hellish sleep.

* * *

(Dont'worry… I won't leave you on the edge for too long) 


End file.
